I am going to be completely transparent. Today I want to throw in the towel, call it quits, and end my work in a developing country. Providing a program that helps people in need is hard. I would like to think that every one of the 40 students that Global Capacity supports is grateful, hard-working, moral, and honest. But I know that's not true. They don't get the best grades in school and they are not completely honest. I was reminded of this today when our partner in Rwanda, Yvonne, emailed me with the unfortunate report that one of our students has been lying to us for months now.
This student has been supported by us for close to three years now. I have pictures with him, he has sent letters and emails to me, and when I was in Rwanda I took him out to dinner for a special meal. To know that he has deliberately and repeatedly lied to my staff and to me aches deep in my heart. And it makes me wonder how many more of our students, our children who have no advocates of their own, who have been given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get an education through our scholarships, who we have sacrificed and gone to bat for while the citizens of their nation ignored and doubted their abilities, will do this.
And then I remember how broken our students are. How most of them have never had a parent-figure to model themselves after, to teach them right from wrong, and to instill the values that parents are supposed to instill. Most of our students are products of the genocide and were forced to grow up real fast due to their parents' death. They are now the heads of their household and had to become guardians to their younger siblings.
People programs are messy. Our scholarship program is a people program. We provide more than just school fees and materials for high school but also counseling, mentoring, and relationships. We walk with 40 students throughout their six years of high school. We lament in their sadness and struggles and celebrate in their achievements and joys. We provide counseling to them about their horrific pasts and encourage them to forge ahead into the unknown with a 1000% better outlook than they had been given.
It is their brokenness that leads them to lie to us and disobey. But does that make it ok? How much grace can you give to someone after they repeatedly lie to you and hurt you? And is grace more deserved if they hadn't had the chance to learn right from wrong or develop strong, positive character traits? How much of a person's past can you ignore to justify their current wrongdoings committed against you?
Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
2 comments:
If we continue to justify misbehavior, the patterns developed in early childhood due to their family/or lack of family conditions will continue, which means we just feed into the cycle. God does not leave us broken. If we are to act and love as He does then we can not leave them broken. God gives us loving discipline. He allows us to reap the what we have sown in whatever direction it takes us. Through the joy or pain we reap from our choices we learn to either continue in joy by choosing life or to bring pain upon ourselves by choosing the path that leads to death. I find for me this is the challenge of parenting, to provide real consequences and allow my daughter to learn to choose life even at 4yrs old. Instead of a single 4yr old you now have a bunch of high schoolers who never learned these lessons at 4. I can't imagine what childhood was like for them and the pain they have endured. Despite the past they still have the current choices to make... life or death (emotional, spiritual, physical, societal). If we shelter them from the reality of that choice then they will never learn to be responsible for their futures or the futures of their offspring and society. They can choose life! I believe they want to choose life and need to have some old habits (formed out of believing lies of hopelessness) broken so that they see clearly the Truth/Life.
I'm praying for wisdom as you proceed. I believe that God is able to bring life out of this. I pray that God will encourage you as you continue to love on those He's called you to no matter how hard it is to love them at times. I pray that He will give you His eyes for this situation and those that will arise in the future. I pray for His blessings and mercy to be evident. Bring Your Glory Lord. In Jesus Name, Amen.
I love your heart for these children.... God's children...
Thank you so much for your perspective Kari! It is true that unless we have disciplinary measures and teach the students right from wrong, they may never learn.
I really appreciate your encouragement about loving them...it is so hard to do sometimes, as in all relationships when you are wronged.
I understand their brokenness and sometimes I give too much grace as a result...
Post a Comment