Why is the crazy white person sitting next to me crying?

I was sitting on the public bus this morning, going from Kigali to Gitarama and started sobbing and could not stop. This was a very familiar setting for me, as I have taken this bus route many times in the past. I began reflecting on the past three years, when I moved to Rwanda in 2008 for five months to establish Global Capacity’s work in the country.

All of the emotion of accomplishment as well as disappointment hit me at once and all I could do is continue sobbing. There are times in which feelings overwhelm and rather than keep them in, as I wish, they manifest in the form of tears I cannot stop. Some of the emotion is pity for the little children I see walking from miles away to gather up water in their plastic cans. And at other times it is the stark truth that I cannot help everyone, as the needs seem insurmountable. At other times it is the gratitude I feel in being able to be part of something that is greater than myself.

I began thinking about how far Global Capacity has come since 2008. At that time we had no concrete vision of our work or mission or how we would proceed. We saw the needs but did not know how to answer them. And then slowly God began to reveal the answers and our work began to take form. We began to get connected with wonderful people to help us and assist us. And we saw how Global Capacity would be a much-needed organization in Rwanda.

There have been many bumps along the road. There have been struggles and hurts and pain. Ideas didn’t work and people in America did not grab on to our vision as much as we felt it in our hearts. We saw the need but they didn’t. And we were also hurt by the very people we were serving in Rwanda. Providing aid is messy and sometimes I have wanted to walk away.

Yet, something has kept me in it. And I am so thankful to be able to be involved in the work that we are doing. The need for providing scholarships for secondary and vocational school became absolutely clear on this trip. I cannot tell you how incredible it is so look into the eyes of a mama or a papa and reassure them that their child will be able to attend secondary school. It’s that look, of gratitude and satisfaction, which keeps me doing what we are doing. There truly are not many more exhilarating things for me than to be able to change someone’s life with the means of education.

One room, five people

Today we visited six of our students' homes for the purpose of learning more about them and meeting their families. It's one thing to see a photo of these kids sent in an email. Up until this past week that had been my reality with most of the students. I had not met them yet. I read about them - their grade in school, what they want to be when they grow up, their hobbies. There is nothing quite like meeting them in person, seeing them in flesh and blood, and celebrating in the big smile on their face because of what you have done for them. It's a much more profound experience.

Going into their homes today was my favorite part of the trip so far...as well as the most challenging. It put my knowledge of the students way past what I had known about them. Sure, it was extremely difficult to see the living conditions and gave me a greater understanding and respect for what we are doing. For example, in the first home we visited lived two of our students, grateful that we had the time to stop by. The two boys live with their widowed mother and two younger brothers. And all five of them live in a one-room house. We sat on their mattresses since there was no other furniture. They had their clothes hanging from the ceiling, with no place to put a dresser or closet. The mother was not ashamed about the conditions we had walked into, but rather thankful to have us there and to be putting her sons through secondary school.

At another house we talked with a father about how he was retired and using his pension to pay for his son's schooling. The pension ran out and he had no other source for payment. His wife had to move far away to live with relatives with a plot of land for gardening. She sends the little money she makes on occasion. Yet, this wasn't enough. I had tears in my eyes as he described the joy he has that his son is once again getting an education.

It was story after story from one home to the next. The living conditions were much worse than I could imagine. There were mattresses on dirt floors, piles of clothes hanging from doors, and holes in the tin roof that would leak during a rain. These folks are the poorest of the poor in the village. They have hopes and dreams for their children, just like any other parent does. They want to see them succeed in school, so they can get jobs and make fulfilling lives for themselves.

Our scholarships enable the children to go to school and begin to stop the cycle of poverty in their life. Hopefully one day our students will live in a house that has more than one room, or a bedroom with a bedframe and concrete floors, or a roof that doesn't leak.

The next time you are sitting in a room in your house or work, think about five people living in it. It will bring the situation of our students' families into a new light and help you understand the need for our Right2School scholarships.

Go to www.right2school.org to find out how you can support our students.