Goodbye Letter to Umuryango.

I leave Rwanda tomorrow and I am heartbroken and cannot stop crying. It is so ridiculous. I woke up at 545 am this morning and began thinking about my departure and began weeping. And cannot stop. I need to get a grip and hope I am not this way the entire day. We are having a goodbye party at Umuryango today and am totally dreading it. I hate goodbyes, so having to say bye to the boys who have touched my heart in so many ways over the past 5 months is going to be torture. I think it will be the hardest for me to say goodbye to the younger boys - Hassan, Pacifique, Olivier, Daniel, Emmanuel, and Siliac. They are the most recent additions to the home, and I was able to be part of the process, to see them as streetkids and then at the home. To give you a better idea of how I feel towards them, I thought I would show you the letter I wrote to them, which will be translated in to Kinyarwanda and read to them...

Boys,

As I sit and think about saying goodbye to you all I am very saddened. The past five months have meant so much to me and I have enjoyed every single moment of my time with you. You are all so special and I love you all very much. You have made my stay here in Rwanda feel like home, and I will never forget any of you. Remember the day last month before some of you went home for holiday, and I was crying so much? I know, I know, crazy muzungu who can’t stop crying! Well, I am sure I will be crying a lot more over the next few days too. I was crying for different reasons.

First of all, I was crying because I am going to miss you all so much. You have all become very near and dear to my heart. I have thoroughly enjoyed the fun times we have had together – studying English, playing football, watching movies, taking pictures, playing Uno and Sequence, going swimming, walking to get my haircut, sitting outside, seeing you at school and walking home with you. You have each become a good friend to me, and I will always treasure my relationship with each one of you.

I was also crying so much because I am very proud of you. My tears are tears of joy because I was thinking about the progress that you have made in your lives. Most of you have worked very hard in school and also in the transition from street life to the home. You have become very well behaved and obedient and I am very impressed with how well you get along with each other and how you listen to Jean Paul, Gatera, Muja, Francine, and Joseph. Each of you is an inspiration to me because of the good choices you have made.

I want to thank each of you for making me feel so welcomed in your home. It can be an adjustment to let a visitor in to your home for a 5-month long period. But, you all sacrificed your time and your space for me and I really appreciate it!

I will continue to pray for you, as I have been. I will pray that you understand how much God loves you! It is more love than you can possibly know and understand, which is so awesome! God will never leave you and you can always talk to Him. I will also pray that you continue to do well in school because education will help you to have a very good life. I also hope that you develop good habits of prayer. Because God will never leave you, you can always pray to Him. He wants to know how you are feeling, what you are thinking, and will make your life better. You are loved by many people, and we will continue loving and praying for you.

This is not really a goodbye, but a see-you-soon. I hope to be back in Byimana early next year, hopefully in March or April. It won’t be for another five or six months, but we will have some amazing times together again!

Love,
Matayo.

This is the scripture that I have been praying for you since I arrived:

“For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.”
Colossians 1:9-12

Current State of Global Capacity.

Since my trip to Rwanda is almost over, I want to update you on its current state and what I am thinking in regards to the future. Over the past month I have been reflecting a lot about the future of Global Capacity and what makes sense at this time. I know 110% that this is my calling and I am so excited to continue my work in Rwanda! With this in mind, I have also been considering the poor economic state of our country. Financial giving to non-profit organizations is low, which I need to take into account as we fundraise for Global Cap. I have decided not to pursue a full-time job exclusively with Global Cap, as I feel it would be unwise because of the possibility of the difficulty in fundraising. I arrived at this decision largely because Good Steward Software will be funding Global Cap exclusively in the beginning, until we raise funds for it to be self-sustainable. This is a big burden for Good Steward to carry, as it would be funding my salary as well as monies for Global Cap's programs. I feel like I would be taking a lot of resources away from Good Steward, without contributing much to its revenue.

I have taken a full-time job at Good Steward, wherein Global Capacity will be one of my job responsibilities. I think this will greatly benefit Global Capacity because most funds raised for Global Capacity can go exclusively to its programs because there wouldn't be many overhead costs (my salary, etc). That means more secondary school students can get scholarships, more educational materials can be purchased for schools, and more English teachers can be hired! My father and I have been discussing my new job position roughly, and I will let you know more later.

Thank you all for praying for me over the past 5 months, as I have been in Rwanda doing the initial development work for Global Capacity. I could not have done this without you. I have accomplished more than I thought I would, which is a reason I am coming home early; a very successful trip!

Coming Home Early.

Hi folks! I hope you are doing well. I want to let you know that after much thought and prayer, I am coming home from Rwanda three weeks early. I think it is in the best interest of Good Steward Software as well as with Global Capacity, for me to do so, since I have almost finished what I came here to do. I came to Rwanda to investigate and research work that Global Capacity could get involved in, and God has blessed my work and has given me vision for it. Check out the Global Capacity web site if you haven't yet.

The next step is fundraising for the non-profit, and will include a detailed marketing campaign, which I can't do until I get home. So, I am going home early so I can start this process. This seems to be the best use of my time. I am anticipating the transition back to State College to be hard on me, so I want to be wise and allow time to process my experience as well. Leaving early is going to be difficult on me because I have had an amazing experience here! Rwanda is filled with so many wonderful people and it will continue to hold a special place in my heart.

I am flying out on Thanksgiving Day, November 27 and arrive at Washington-Dulles on November 28. I would appreciate your prayer that I would leave Rwanda well. I have a few more projects to get done in the next three weeks and I want to enjoy the remaining time. I want to say goodbye well too, and I don't want my Rwandan friends to think I am abandoning them. Saying goodbye is going to be very difficult and I want to be able to verbalize what each person means to me. My greatest concern is that the Umuryango boys won't understand why I am leaving early. Please pray for their understanding.

Thank you very much :)

I Am Heartbroken, Again.

I wrote a post back in June about my being heartbroken about leaving the USA and moving to Africa. Today I am heartbroken about the opposite; leaving Africa and moving back to the USA. Don't worry, I am not aimlessly crying about leaving; I still have 6 weeks left here! You see, during this week I am saying "goodbye" to most of the boys at Umuryango, since they are going home to visit family. These boys have meant so much to me, especially over the past 4 months, as I have had the privilege of pouring in to their lives, and letting them pour in to mine. School is out and it is a holiday for them. They will not be returning until Dec 20 or so, which is after I leave to go home. So, I said bye to two of them on Saturday, three yesterday, ten today, and there will be more as the week progresses. Today I sat and watched as they got ready to leave.

Before I left the house this morning I told Theresa that I was going to purposefully "turn off my emotions today." I didn't want to deal with the sadness. I got to Umuryango and was good for some time, not thinking about saying goodbye. The boys were so excited; they washed their clothes and sneakers, packed their bags, and collected their taxi money. But then I began thinking of the ones specifically leaving today, and the rivers flowed! I bawled and bawled and bawled. I couldn't stop and no one could say anything to console me. Sure, I was sad that I wouldn't see these boys until I return to Rwanda next year; I was crying for deeper reasons.

I am so deeply proud of how far these boys have come. They have risen above the odds for Rwandan streetkids. For example, look at Rutaganda. He came from the streets of Gitarama last year. Now he is first place in his class and is an extremely bright and creative boy. Jean Pierre - he is in his first year of secondary school and was chosen to be chief of his dorm. Siliac - he was once a wild and very badly behaved young boy, but has turned in to an incredibly sweet and obedient one. They all have stories of victory and positive change like these.

I was also crying because I realized how important it has been for me developmentally to be part of Umuryango. When I came to Rwanda last year and met these boys, well, 13 of them, I was in a very broken place. My marriage of nine years had just ended shortly before and I was having an identity crisis. Getting involved with Umuryango gave me purpose and passion and drive, which I desperately had needed at that time.

As I said before these boys are leaving to visit their families. Yes, they have families. They have mothers and fathers and sisters and brothers. Yet, they had chosen to leave their homes to start a life on the street. They each have their reasons; valid, real, understandable reasons. The fact that they had left their families does not mean they don't love them. That became very clear as I watched their excitement as they prepared to see them. They miss them very much. I could not stop wondering what each of their experiences will be at their homes. Will there be enough food for them to eat, will they get abused like they had been before, will they choose to stay with their families or the streets and not return to Umuryango? These are all valid possibilities and I shutter to think what hardships they will be enduring.

As I sat in the back courtyard and cried, the boys tried to make me feel better. It was so sweet. A bunch of them came over and sat next to me, telling me "no problem", "it's OK". Emmanuel just plain out insisted "stop". Lamazani, who is not very touchy-feely at all, came and sat on my lap and we cuddled. I enjoyed seeing this side of them, which isn't often because I am not usually a crying train wreck in front of them.

My tears today were largely out of thankfulness and gratitude to God, who has worked wonders in my life and in the lives of these 27 boys. It is my hope and prayer that they will all understand how deep the Father's love for them is and walk towards it. The boys all hold a special place in my heart and I look forward to the day I get to see them when I return.

Thanks for Praying for the Congo situation.

Hi folks. I want to say how much I appreciate your prayers and support here in Rwanda. It looks like there is progress being made with peace talks and the cease-fire agreement. I feel so badly for the Congolese civilians who have been forced to leave their homes. I read in an article today that 1 million people have left due to the violence.

I want to assure you that I feel very safe here. Rwanda has many soldiers on the border, and has a much bigger army than most other African countries. Although on a map it looks like Goma is close to Gitarama, it still is a 6 hour drive. There are reports of refugees fleeing to the Rwandan town of Gisenyi and some of you have been concerned about that. Let me assure you that it is safe. Hadidja our housekeeper is from Gisenyi, and she went there this weekend to get her identity card issued (like a driver's license, a formality here). She felt safe enough to go.

Living here has given me a different perspective. War is reality for many Africans. I have been talking with different African friends - Yohani, Gatera, Jean Paul, Dash - and they all just speak of war as part of life. "This is what life in Africa is like..." I am sure from an American perspective things seem really scary and a lot of of you feel helpless, like there is not much you can do, besides pray. Just be so thankful for the peace we have in America.

To stay updated, go to the BBC and Time websites. They seem to have more articles than CNN. I have also been putting relevent articles on my Facebook page, so you can check those out.

Prayer requests:

• Pray for the safety of the civilians. I can imagine it is just chaos and mayhem with those many people roaming around with no food, water, and disease.

• Pray for General Nkunda, that he would want to end this rebellion.

• Pray for the countrys' leaders, that they would get divine direction about how best to handle this.

• Pray that the tensions between tribes (Tutsi and Hutu) would end and that all parties would see that all Africans are united and one people. This is a spiritual attack and demonic mindset.

• Pray for wisdom if we would need to act quickly if this war would worsen. I honestly am so torn about what to do, it breaks my heart.

• Pray for peace in Africa. I love so many people here and hate to see this violence and fear in their own homeland!

Thank you very much!