Still here!

Hey folks. I just wanted you to know that I am still here! It's been awhile since I updated my blog. The past two weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind, with Yonatani and Sam being here, as well as the 12-person team from my church. Yonatani and Sam flew out yesterday. It was such a good trip and I will tell you about it soon.

I also have been sick. A few days ago I got a nasty 24-hour flu. It kept me in bed and unable to do things with Yonatani and Sam, which was really frustrating. And then yesterday I developed a cold, which is not as bad as the flu but still sucks. I would appreciate prayer for healing and wholeness so I can be at my best and fully contribute to the team.

Thanks for the patience as I deal with the changes in my life here. I promise I will get a post up soon about the past two weeks. They have been really encouraging and life-giving. Tough at times, but still good. Connection points.

Know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge.

I have been reading and praying Ephesians 3 for the boys at Umuryango, particularly verses 17-19:

"So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, and that you may be rooted and established in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God."

I am praying that in all that we do, the boys can comprehend the love that God has for them. Some times it is difficult to explain to them why we are here, what we are doing, when we can't speak to them in description. I pray that our actions will speak to their spirits and they will be able to comprehend why we are here, why we spend time with them, why we choose to be here in Rwanda.

Siliac is back at Umuryango :)

I am so thrilled to say that Siliac is now back at Umuryango! Last nite he saw Theresa and Sam on the street in Gitarama and came running up to them and said he wanted to go back to Byimana! What a tremendous blessing and an answer to prayer!!! We think he realized how much worse his life was on the streets, as it was pretty cold the two nites he was there. It seems as if he might be staying for good now. Thanks for all of the prayers for him. We were talking about how his experience reminded us of the story of the Prodigal Son. We were devastated when he chose to walk away from Umuryango. In spite of all of the blessings and love he received (from us and others) at Umuryango, he chose the path to leave. Yet, we were able to receive him back with open arms and joyful hearts.

Yonatani and Sam are here! Oh, and some challenging days have come.

Yonatani (Jonathan) and Sam arrived on Friday, and it has been so good to have them with us. We have done a lot with them so far and I think they are a bit worn out, to say the least. They delivered lots of treats from our families and we are so thankful for everyone for sending their blessings and hugs our way. Yonatani and I have a full schedule when he is here, with lots of Global Capacity planning and some meetings.

The past few days have been extremely difficult also. Heartbreaking. Siliac, an eight year-old boy who lives at Umuryango, has chosen to go back to live on the streets. Siliac is the newest boy at the home, having moved in just two months ago. He is an amazing boy, adorable, sweet, and very influential. Everybody loves him. However, streetboys are extremely complicated and although moving to Umuryango seems like an amazing opportunity, some times the boys don't understand the long-term benefits. On the streets they come and go as they please and don't have any responsibility. They don't have any superior to listen to, no chores to complete, no work to do. At Umuryango they are given a daily schedule to follow, superiors to obey, and chores to do. Plainly, they are given structure. It is so hard to understand how a young boy would choose a life on the streets after they he has been given a warm bed, food, school, new clothes, and lots and lots of love. But, as any mother can attest to, boys are complicated beings and this is certainly true for streetboys too.

It was especially difficult last night because we saw Siliac on the street. Yonatani and I were walking to a restaurant and Siliac was there, with one of his friends. It broke my heart to see him, knowing that just two short days before, I was holding him at Umuryango. He asked him how he was doing and he said "well". I hope to believe that he is. And I also hope to believe that God will change his heart in such a way that he will want to return to Umuryango one day. In the mean time, I will also pray that God protects him and that he continues to understand that God has an enormous and unimaginable amount of love for him. Something he has never gotten at home but something we have tried to give him.

Cow in the street.

Funny sight when I was on my way to the internet cafe this morning. There was a cow running wild in the street. And there were two men running after it with ropes trying to catch it. Now, in Gitarama there is one main road, that's it. And there is lots of action on it - taxis, motorbikes, and people crossing the street. And this cow was running in to the traffic. One car had to stop and wait for it to run around it. The cow proceeded to run further up the road, with one of the men flipping off his shoes and chasing it. Unfortunately the road curved and I wasn't able to see them anymore. But, the way they were running is the way to get to Bukamero and the boys' home, so maybe later on I will see the cow there. I must admit that it was really nice for the cow to be the center of attention and to be the one stared at, and not me. Let's hope for more cows running wild on the street.

Sponsor Letters.

Today started off somewhat frustating but then it got better. I tried to grab a taxi to Byimana so I could visit the boys. I asked one driver how much it would cost and he said 400 francs. This makes me angry because the drivers tend to overcharge us abazungu (white people). The boys tell us that when they take a taxi to Gitarama from Byimana they are only charged 200 francs. Usually we are charged 300, which we accept, so when a driver wants 400 I am really angry and frustrated. Frustrated because I need to get to Byimana, and the taxis are the only way (well, I could walk, but that would take about an hour. I may hop on a motorbike the next time). Anyway, I refused his 400 franc charge and walked away. I waited till that taxi left and I went up to another taxi waiting to go to Byimana. I asked him how much and he also said 400. I demanded 300, and he answered right back with a "oya, 400!" I decided to give in and take his offer. As I sat in the taxi and waited for it to be filled up with people, I seethed with anger. How dare he take advantage of me, just because of the color of my skin. I sat and thought about it, and slowly came to peace. I was getting upset over 100 francs, which is equivalent to a measly 20 cents. Then the overcharge did not seem so huge. 20 cents is such a small amount of money for me to get so upset about!

We took off and I arrived in Byimana with a better attitude and excitement for the day. I am planning a project for the Umuryango sponsors. I am going to be taking pictures, both posed and candid, of the boys as well as a short video. I think this will be a good way to update the boys' sponsors about what they have all been up to. I packed my digital camera and video camera so I can begin my work. I arrived at Umuryango and the boys were busy. There are just a handful since it is holiday. I communicated with Jean Pierre and Ndahimana that I wanted to get a haircut, so they took me. This was one of the highlights of the day. We spoke to each other the whole way to the barber, both in English and in Kinyarwanda. I was proud that I could carry on somewhat of a conversation. They asked me why I want to get my head shaved and I told them I am balding on the top and don't like to show it - "oya imisatsi (no hairs!). They thought that was quite humorous. We got to the barber and they told the man what I wanted. I have Ndahimana my camera and he took pics of my hair shaving as well as of Jean Pierre and himself. This barber is where the boys get their heads shaved, so I am going to become a regular customer. Plus, it is cheaper than the salon in Gitarama I had gone to.

When we returned back to the home, I showed them some files I had on my computer dealing with their sponsors. I had a letter from Ndahimana's sponsor, which I had just received this morning over email and I showed it to him. He was greatly blessed by it, and he and Jean Pierre each wanted to learn how to use my computer and write their sponsors a letter. So, I sat next to each of them and they typed away. The most precious part was watching each boy help the other and show him how to type and find the letters on the keyboard. Jean Pierre switched back and forth between Kinyarwanda and English and Ndahimana stuck to English. Then they asked me to proofread their work. It was such a blessing to read their letters because they are so incredibly thankful for their sponsors and their generosity. After we were all done, Ndahimana said tomorrow we will focus on writing my family a letter.

I also was able to take some nice candid photos of the boys...Siliac and Nyandwi coloring, Jean Pierre on the computer, Theophile marking his arm with a fake tatoo.

When I was ready to leave, Jean Pierre walked me to the taxi stop. I was able to get a taxi back to Gitarama for 300 francs. I would have paid 400 though. I was thankful for the wonderful day that God had given me.

Routine.

For those of you whom know the DiSC Personality Test, you will appreciate this. I am finding out how much of a S type I am. I need routine and predictability. I need a stable and consistent schedule. I have now been here for almost two weeks and have had a somewhat unpredictable and inconsistent schedule. And I have not liked it. I thought I would be able to change and handle the inconsistency better, but I haven't. I am being stretched, which is great, but it also is difficult. I am trying to alternate days of staying in Gitarama and going to Bukamero.

When I stay in Gitarama for the day my ideal schedule is: eat breakfast, go to the internet cafe, buy lunch, go home, study Kinyarwanda, eat lunch, read my Bible and pray, take a nap, do Global Capacity work, study more Kinyarwanda, go back to the internet, come home, lay on the front porch, eat dinner, and go to bed. I get so tired here that I tend to go to bed around 9! When I go out to Bukamero I am usually gone from about 9 am - 7 pm or so. It is a long day and afterwards I don't feel like doing much other than eating and going to bed. Hopefully when I get internet in the home (which was supposed to be today but it didn't happen) I will be much more efficient with my time, and can talk to you all more.

Home for the Holiday.

The month of July is a holiday from school for the children. So, the Umuryango boys have been off from school. Today most of them left to go visit their families for two weeks. So, there was a lot of excitement this morning as 14 boys packed their bags and gathered their taxi money. That's right, 14 of them have families to go to. This is a concept that is difficult for me to understand. If they have families to visit, then why aren't they living with them? Why had the boys chosen a life on the streets versus a life at home with their families? Possible answers are poverty or maybe abuse. No matter the reason it is very difficult to imagine the nightmares they were living before coming to Umuryango.

I was so excited for the boys who left today to go to their families. They all left the home at the same time and walked to the taxi stop. But my heart was hurting for the 6 boys who don't have families to go to. Boys who are orphaned, who don't have parents, who don't have the opportunity to go anywhere for the holiday. I sat and watched them as the boys left for the taxi stop and imagined what they were thinking. On the outside they seemed fine. They were playing marbles and the boys' leaving didn't seem to phase them. They seemed happy for them. So, hopefully that is the case and are not hurting inside.

Bukamero Laundromat.

Today was wash day for the boys. That means they grab their dirty clothes, a basin, and a bar of soap, and head to the washing area. In my mind I was picturing some sort of a laundromat. You know, like a modern building with washers and dryers. I don't know why I expected this, but I did. We walked for about 20 minutes and arrived at the "laundromat". It was basically a large cement platform in the middle of a field with a square-sized hole taken out to provide access to the water below the platform. The boys wash their clothes every week, so they have the routine down well. They bring their basin to the platform and fill up with water. Then they bring it over to the grass and rub the soap on their clothes. They douse it with water and scrub and scrub and scrub. Some of the boys are so protective and particular of their clothes that they get them sparkling clean. Other boys don't care so much and get the task over relatively quickly. I helped Emmanuel, David, and Edison, whom I think preferred that I hadn't help them. After I "cleaned" their clothes they went back and re-did them.

Not only do the boys wash their clothes at this well, they also clean themselves. They wash their hair and bodies with the soap, all wearing either towels or shorts. It was actually quite endearing because they would wash each other's backs. One would bend forward and another boy would wash his back and legs and feet. Jean Pierre seems to be the master at this and would be the main washer. Theresa decided to wash her hair, so she dunked her head in the basin. I decided to humor them a bit too and have them wash me. After all, it had been a few days since I had a real shower. So, I took off my shoes, socks, and shirt and rolled my jeans up. They were very interested in my tattoo on my chest as well as my huge, rippling muscles (well, to them they are gigantic). Then Jean Pierre washed my back and Emmanuel and Jean Pierre each washed a foot. I was quite the spectacle because at this point, some other small children and mothers had gathered to watch. Emmanuel also washed my sneakers and Jean Pierre gave me his flip flops to wear on the way back. One thing is for sure...the boys love and care for us. They treat us so well. I really regretted that I hadn't brought my camera with me. It would have been a fun sight to see, but I will bring my camera the next time.

I Love Technology.

Yesterday we had a wonderful day. I brought my laptop with me to the boys' home. I showed them pictures from my trip here last year. I have about 1300 pictures from the trip, so I had tons to show them. They really enjoyed seeing them and remember all of the names of the team members. I thought about what a thrill it is for them to see themselves on my computer, well, any computer. Since what streetboys and orphans fear most is not being forgotten, and this way they know they are remembered, and even documented. I also brought all of the videos that Aaron and I took on the trip last year, and am really excited to show them. We have about 60 or so hours of footage, so it will provide a lot of entertainment.

I have Toy Story in iTunes, so we played it for the kiddos. The boys actually were at school in the afternoon, so we watched it with the village kids. And it was so precious. I am pretty sure that most of them didn't know what was being said, but really enjoying watching the pictures. It was fun seeing about fifty African children staring at my white MacBook.

Today I spent the day in Gitarama. I did some work at the internet cafe, walked around the town a bit, and did two language lessons. I am happy with the pace I am making for myself with kinyarwanda. Of course I have miles and miles to go, but I am trying to stay disciplined. I can say some full sentences without cheating:

Mfite Yesu m' umutima wanjye. (I have Jesus in my heart).
Nitwa Matayo. (My name is Matthew).
Ndagenda ku internet. (I am going to the internet).
Ndagenda ku inzu nawe. (I am going to my house today).

Ok, I am going to sign off. School just let out and a bunch of abahungu (boys) are staring at me. Time for the walk back to the house.

Rwanda is one awesome place :)

So many feelings.

I have been experiencing so many different feelings here. They change so often. Today they have gone from thankfulness and joy, to frustration, to being extremely overwhelmed, to loneliness, to satisfaction, to compassion, and again to thankfulness. There are three things that I have found help me when I am experiencing the inevitable, negative feelings that I do. Prayer has been the most significant, as it gets me grounded with God and He reminds me of the reality of my situation. That it is normal for me to feel the way I do, that it is just my fifth day here, that He will never leave me nor forsake me, that the same power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead lives in me. This last truth is one that I cling on to because I expect for God to do anything in my life that He wants to if I will let Him. So, I can believe that He will bring me through rough times. Scripture reading has also helped, although I haven't been able to have a Bible with me as much as I would like since I lost mine on the way here. Thankfully I have Bible software on my computer that I use. Kinyarwanda study also helps me when I am frustrated. I have found that learning even five new words and then applying them builds my self-confidence up a lot. I know I have a long, long way to go until I can carry on a meaningful conversation, but I have the motivation and desire to do so.

Wherever I go everyone stares at me. At first it didn't bother me but now I am getting a bit sick of it. I would like to fit in like everyone else and not be a spectacle everywhere I go. I know that is impossible due to my muzungu appearance. But, I can do what I can, like shave my head like many Rwandans do, keep my iPod in my bagpack instead of listening to it when I am walking in Gitarama, and use kinyarwanda expressions as much as possible even when I don't want to. I have learned to monitor myself as much as possible.

Sometimes I don't even feel like leaving the house because most of the time I feel like everything on the outside is difficult. On the inside we have a beautiful housekeeper, Hadesha (sp?), who cooks and cleans for us. We also have a nightguard, Jean Claude, who watches over us and makes sure we are safe. Then there is Jean Paul, who helps us understand the language and culture and will run errands for us if we need him to. We speak English inside the house and there is no confusion, no frustration, no hard work. But then we leave the house and we are faced with confusion, frustration, and hard work. But I know the three things that help me deal with these feelings, so I remember that life here is manageable and doable, and amazing.

Fanta and connection.

Yesterday was an amazing day. Amazing because we were able to treat the boys and some village kids to a Fanta. Fanta is soda and is a treat for the kids here. We all walked to a shop that sold Fanta, more of a cafe. It was quite a procession - about 25 Rwandan children and 3 wazungu (white people). We grabbed the attention of everyone we passed.

A highlight was to be able to reconnect with some of the village kids I had met last year. There were a few who had absolutely stolen my heart last year. Ones who I cry over and wonder what will happen to them. Kids who come from really poor families who do not have the many privileges that the boys at Umuryango have. They are in lots of pictures I have, and I have been so excited to see them ever since my trip became a reality. When Theresa and Val began visiting Byimana I would ask them about these kids, especially about Rom and Jean Pierre. Sadly, these two boys were nowhere to be seen. My heart broke for them because I didn't know what had happened. Had they gone to the streets, moved to another town, gotten sick, or worse? Well, yesterday my questions were answered. As we walked to the shop to get Fanta, I saw both of them. They were on the street, playing with some friends. I welcomed each of them and called them by their names, and they got huge smiles on their faces. They grabbed my hand and we walked to the shop. I do not think I will forget Rom's priceless expression as we sat next to each other and sipped the Fanta. He would stare at me, with this look of fondness and joy - large beautiful eyes and a big smile.

We spent a good chunk of time at the Fanta shop, hanging out and dancing to the television. It was one of my most favorite times here so far. Just being with the boys and village kids, and blessing them in a way that is mundane and small to me, but quite large to them.

Out and about.

Today was a good day.  I spent time in Gitarama instead of visiting the boys' home with Theresa and Valerie.  We have been going and going since I arrived and I needed some time to chill and slow down.  It was a really relaxing time.  I cleaned my room and organized it, worked on some Global Capacity stuff, ate lunch and chatted with our housekeeper's son Omar, and took a nap. After that I studied some kinyawarwanda, which made me feel a bit better about the language barrier.  This is the biggest problem I have right now.  It frustrates me so much to not be able to carry on a conversation with people, or even to ask for things in shops.  I know with time and practice this will diminish, but nevertheless I wish I knew so much more.  

After that I went to the salon with Omar to get my head shaved.  I did bring my own shaver with me to Africa, but surprisingly enough I broke it.  Yes, shavers require the use of a power converter here, and yes, I have three with me.  But, I forgot and plugged in the shaver and proceeded to shave the side of my head.  A few seconds later I smelled a burning smell and noticed the shaver began to smoke.  So, I learned my lesson by ruining the shaver.  So, I have been walking around for two days with a chunk taken out of my hair on the side of my head.  It was hot.  Anyway I was the talk and stare of the salon.  I don't think they often have wuzungus as clients.  It was so nice though, a very gentle razor and very soft touch.  He then proceeded to shave my face with the shaver, which was not so gentle.  But then he put some alcohol and then powder all over my head and face, which was nice.  I think I am happy that I ruined the shaver so I can support this salon and befriend them.

Now I am at the internet cafe on my own computer, and really feel like I fit it.  Oh, and it does help that they are playing "Cry Me A River" by Justin Timberlake and "Bubbly" by Colbie Caillet.  

Yeah, I think I'm gonna like it here. 

I have a cell phone.

I now have a cell phone. It's pretty expensive to call to the U.S. on it, but it's cheap for the U.S. to call me with a calling card. The link to buying a good, cheap calling card is http://www.callsmadelocal.net/search.asp?Country=83&name=&connection=No+Preference&value=Any+Value.

Email me if you want to know my cell number.  

I can also receive and send text messages. Remember that the time difference is 6 hours. I plan on getting a calling card too so I can call home more.

I should have internet at my house next week, so I can IM / Skype / iChat / email / Facebook with you all much more!

In Byimana.

I had the privilege of spending the past two days with the boys at Umuryango. What a pleasure! Yesterday we arrived at the home before the boys came home from lunch. We were dropped off by a taxi and then walked the .6 miles to the home. What a joy. We were surrounded by beautiful village kids along the way. It was so neat to watch the kids run up to Theresa and Valerie, who teach them English for an hour/day. They adore their teachers. I recogized some of the kids from last year. When we arrived at the home we took a tour of the home and the TWO that are being built. It is so very exciting to watch the progress. I plan on putting up pics when I have faster internet in the home we are staying in.

The boys came home from lunch and it was glorious. They ran over to me with smiles and gave me big hugs and kisses. Even the newer boys, who I hadn't met yet, welcomed me with open arms. It is so great to see them all again. The boy I sponsor, David, just kept hugging and kissing me. He sat next to me on the couch for a long, long time and we tried to communicate as best as possible. We spent much of the afternoon playing the game Sequence, which is now a favorite of everyone.

Today was a very exciting day. We wanted to do something special for the boys since it is a national holiday here. So, we rented a large bus and picked them up early. We headed over to the "Muzungu Mall" and got them all ice cream. This was a special treat that most of them had never ever had. And, to our surprise, most did not like it. It was way too cold for them. After that we headed to a soccer (futbol) stadium. We had lunch on the bus and then got tickets in one of the national stadiums for two matches. We watched the two matches, which proved to be a really crazy experience. The second match packed out the stadium and there were all sorts of people climbing the back wall and then getting hit by clubs by policemen. I didnt realize what a huge sport futbol is here. This second match was the national championship match, and President Kagame showed up too! After the matches we headed to a fine dinner in Gitarama. The boys were so thankful and appreciative of the day and it was a pleasure to watch them experience their surprises.

Finally in Gitarama!

Well, I arrived in Rwanda finally. JP, Theresa, and Val were all at the airport to greet me with huge hugs. It is soooo good to be here! It looks so familar, from last year. We drove past where we stayed last summer and we also visited the "Muzungu Mall" for some ice cream. We went in to Kigali and got cash exchanged for me. We then headed to Gitarama. The house we are staying in is perfect. It is lined along the road, filled with lots of activities - shops, other houses, and streetkids. This breaks my heart! We didn't spend much time on the street yet, but will starting tomorrow. The house is large and will be a great base for us to live at. We will be visiting the boys tomorrow and I am so excited! I am a bit wiped now, so I am looking for a good nite sleep. Oh, and another thing - I have my own bedroom, which is great. Lots of time for me to spend with God and processing through this amazing journey I am on. Ok, that's all the energy I have for now. Gotta head home for dinner and sleep for tomorrow :)

In Ethopia.

hello folks! hope you are doing well. just wanted to give you a quick shout from addis ababa. i stayed here overnite at a motel and fly to kigali in an hour. my flights have been good so far, no delays or anything. i was majorly bummed though because i left my bible on the airplane. that will bless someone else though. (so maybe when jonathan comes he can bring me one, wink wink). i am so excited to land in kigali soon! i met an american (from ia) who is on his way to tanzania to oversee a building project of a 18-cottage orphanage. he is a structural architect who also runs a child sponsorship program at an orphanage in haiti. so, it was so great to chat with him and talk about how he does things. we were both sharing stories with each other about our experiences in our respective countries. it is so refreshing to talk with him since he has the same heart, burden, and holy discontent that i have. i love it here! all the sounds and sights. addis ababa looks very much like kigali does. ok, i must run. thanks for all of the prayers and thoughts. talk to you soon :)