I have been pretty overwhelmed with life here lately. Overwhelmed in a negative sense at times, but also in a positive sense too. But mostly in a negative sense.
The extreme poverty is really getting to me. At times there is such a stark contrast of the very poor and the very rich. At the taxi station, there are many people begging for money, as always. Some people are missing limbs. Sundays bother me the most. A lot of people on the taxis are very well dressed for church, which is understandable. They have the standard, Rwandan-style attire on, with fancy jewelry and shoes and head coverings. And they should be dressed well for church. Yet, it is very difficult to see this in the midst of the beggars, with their sad eyes and hungry stomachs. It makes me wonder what a proper godly response should be. If these people are going to church, should they also be reacting in a positive way to these beggars. Should I be acting in a different way too, other than looking away.
Today on the way to Umuryango Theresa and I passed two of the village kids, a brother and his little sister. These kids are some of the poorest, malnourished, and sickly children in the village. We brought them back with us to bathe them and give them medical treatment. After we had bathed them, Gatera (Jean Paul's nephew who lives at the home) inspected their hands and noticed some white marks. They were worms. The boy had three worms in his hands and the little girl had six. Gatera pulled out two of the worms as I watched with great sadness. Chances are that these adorable children will be getting more worms because their home is very dirty and unsanitary. And who knows what else these children have - worms are fairly detectable.
One of the other boys from the village came in and was standing next to me, watching. This little boy has HIV and is on anti-viral medication. I found out this tragic fact shortly after I returned from my trip to Rwanda last year. I do not know his exact age, but I would guess he is around 14 years-old or so. Thankfully his body is responding well to the medication and we can hope that the progress continues.
I am currently in the internet cafe and secondary school just let out. Some schoolboys have just arrived and they hopped on the computers next to me. And they are watching porn. These boys are maybe 15 years-old, if that. It is very sad.
On the contrary, I have seen very, very good things. I started teaching 6th grade English yesterday and am thoroughly enjoying it! I love getting involved in the learning process of these kids. Although it is a very small amount - one hour per day - and it is just a review class, I am proud to be part of it. Education is so very important in Rwanda and can help to change a student's and his family's life forever. After the English class period the students walk home to eat lunch. I love walking amongst 1600 primary school students, each with his school uniform on.
It has also been a joy to see the newest streetboys doing very well in the home. Olivier, Hasani, and Emmanuel came to the home within the past two weeks and have transitioned very naturally so far. They are very happy to be there and continually ask to study. They will be starting school in January, but Theresa has been supplying them with worksheets to do until that time. They also helped wash the two children today, voluntarily.
It is inevitable for there to be both good and bad here. To be honest, the bad is really taking a toll on my heart. At times the pain seems so unbearable and I wonder how I am going to make it here another 3 1/2 months. The needs are so very great and as I think and plan and create programs for life improvement I often feel so inconsequential and small. But then I am reminded that I don't see things from God's point of view most of the time. And what may seem like a dauntless task in the eyes of a human being could be very plausible and possible in the eyes of an all-powerful and all-loving God. I am so thankful I am not doing this alone :)
The extreme poverty is really getting to me. At times there is such a stark contrast of the very poor and the very rich. At the taxi station, there are many people begging for money, as always. Some people are missing limbs. Sundays bother me the most. A lot of people on the taxis are very well dressed for church, which is understandable. They have the standard, Rwandan-style attire on, with fancy jewelry and shoes and head coverings. And they should be dressed well for church. Yet, it is very difficult to see this in the midst of the beggars, with their sad eyes and hungry stomachs. It makes me wonder what a proper godly response should be. If these people are going to church, should they also be reacting in a positive way to these beggars. Should I be acting in a different way too, other than looking away.
Today on the way to Umuryango Theresa and I passed two of the village kids, a brother and his little sister. These kids are some of the poorest, malnourished, and sickly children in the village. We brought them back with us to bathe them and give them medical treatment. After we had bathed them, Gatera (Jean Paul's nephew who lives at the home) inspected their hands and noticed some white marks. They were worms. The boy had three worms in his hands and the little girl had six. Gatera pulled out two of the worms as I watched with great sadness. Chances are that these adorable children will be getting more worms because their home is very dirty and unsanitary. And who knows what else these children have - worms are fairly detectable.
One of the other boys from the village came in and was standing next to me, watching. This little boy has HIV and is on anti-viral medication. I found out this tragic fact shortly after I returned from my trip to Rwanda last year. I do not know his exact age, but I would guess he is around 14 years-old or so. Thankfully his body is responding well to the medication and we can hope that the progress continues.
I am currently in the internet cafe and secondary school just let out. Some schoolboys have just arrived and they hopped on the computers next to me. And they are watching porn. These boys are maybe 15 years-old, if that. It is very sad.
On the contrary, I have seen very, very good things. I started teaching 6th grade English yesterday and am thoroughly enjoying it! I love getting involved in the learning process of these kids. Although it is a very small amount - one hour per day - and it is just a review class, I am proud to be part of it. Education is so very important in Rwanda and can help to change a student's and his family's life forever. After the English class period the students walk home to eat lunch. I love walking amongst 1600 primary school students, each with his school uniform on.
It has also been a joy to see the newest streetboys doing very well in the home. Olivier, Hasani, and Emmanuel came to the home within the past two weeks and have transitioned very naturally so far. They are very happy to be there and continually ask to study. They will be starting school in January, but Theresa has been supplying them with worksheets to do until that time. They also helped wash the two children today, voluntarily.
It is inevitable for there to be both good and bad here. To be honest, the bad is really taking a toll on my heart. At times the pain seems so unbearable and I wonder how I am going to make it here another 3 1/2 months. The needs are so very great and as I think and plan and create programs for life improvement I often feel so inconsequential and small. But then I am reminded that I don't see things from God's point of view most of the time. And what may seem like a dauntless task in the eyes of a human being could be very plausible and possible in the eyes of an all-powerful and all-loving God. I am so thankful I am not doing this alone :)
4 comments:
I share in your plight of constant movement between encouragement and discouragement. This entry is such a good picture of that tension. Recently I am praying over the Armor of God verses constantly, that God would shield me against the fiery arrows of discouragement from the enemy with a genuine faith that believes that He is working and moving with purpose and goodness in my life and relationships. I pray the same for you Matthew, that God will strengthen your faith by using your life as a vessel for His glory over there, and that through your experiences you are drawn closer to Him. I admire your courage! Thank you for encouraging me.
your friend
joe
Wow, it is very intense there and so hard to have things like that in your face all the time! I think it is so important to see and feel and be able to bring their hearts and plights back with you to share with others. There just aren't any "easy" answers for all this, but the one life you can touch and change is what counts.
I feel overwhelmed often in making a difference in my world, but I know that as I just obey His voice in the small things that I have done the part that I must play.
God bless you and strengthen you during this time!!
It brings tears to my eyes hearing the stories of such poverty that you are facing. I know it must feel so overwhelming, but you really are doing amazing things in the community just by living out your life for Christ daily...even in the simplest ways. Lately I have been struggling with ways I can be serving and having Christ's vision for my life. What he's been telling me is to look at the small ways I can be an example for Christ daily, and look for the small treasures of joy that God blesses with daily. We're not going to change the world on our own...God will take care of that. All we can do is be his faithful servant and follow. You are such a blessing and I admire your strength and faithfulness in living the life you are over there. You're in my prayers friend!
-Barb
God will give you strength, Matthew! You are doing amazing things there and I have no doubt you're impacting and touching ever person and child you come into contact with. I am glad to hear Oliver is doing well! Can't wait to write him a letter...
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