So, this past Wednesday marked my one month stay here. At times it feels like I have been here for much longer, and at other times it doesn't. I have learned very valuable lessons about myself, which have been so important in understanding who I am. Things I knew about myself in the States, but have been reiterated here in Rwanda, about how I act, about who I naturally tend to be. It has been challenging at times, but have caused me to grow and say "ah ha". The following is a list of things I have learned about myself:
1. I naturally fall behind and follow when given the opportunity to lead with a natural leader.
2. I need consistency and routine in my life more than I thought I did.
3. I do not keep in contact with the States very well.
4. I can tend to rely on technology too much.
5. I think people's expectations of me are higher than they actually are.
6. I have a fear of failure.
7. I am creative, decisive, and intentional in my actions but I need time to process through the thoughts that lead to them.
8. I am not a good pioneer and initiator, but rather prefer maintaining and following through.
9. I am not as dependent on people from the States as I thought I was.
10. I have cried a lot less than I do in the States.
One of the unexpected parts of being here is that I do not love it. I was expecting to step off that plane and love every aspect of living here. Not the case. Don't get me wrong - I love some aspects. I love the boys at Umuryango and getting to know them better and watching them grow and develop in to men. I love the village of Bukomero and streams of kiddos who run up and grab my legs for a hug. I love the opportunity I have been given to help improve the life conditions here. I love the house and the community we live in. I love the four or five streetkids in Gitarama we have been able to get to know (whom we will be inviting to live at Umuryango in two weeks). I love walking in to a store and paying 60 cents for lunch. I love watching the many persons visiting us from America do life here.
As I said, I love a lot of aspects of life in Rwanda. As I sit and type this list up, I realize that I may not ever love every aspect of living here. Does anyone ever love every moment of every day of their life? I don't know why I expected it here. I didn't love my life back in the States. It was challenging, and difficult, and hard at times. But I still did it well. And I think I can do my life here in Africa well too. If life was easy and painless and dearly loved all the time, there would not be a need for a relationship with God. I know it is a cliche, but it is the difficult times in my life in which I have recognized the need for God; to cry out to Him, to rely on Him, to realize that He will never leave me.
1. I naturally fall behind and follow when given the opportunity to lead with a natural leader.
2. I need consistency and routine in my life more than I thought I did.
3. I do not keep in contact with the States very well.
4. I can tend to rely on technology too much.
5. I think people's expectations of me are higher than they actually are.
6. I have a fear of failure.
7. I am creative, decisive, and intentional in my actions but I need time to process through the thoughts that lead to them.
8. I am not a good pioneer and initiator, but rather prefer maintaining and following through.
9. I am not as dependent on people from the States as I thought I was.
10. I have cried a lot less than I do in the States.
One of the unexpected parts of being here is that I do not love it. I was expecting to step off that plane and love every aspect of living here. Not the case. Don't get me wrong - I love some aspects. I love the boys at Umuryango and getting to know them better and watching them grow and develop in to men. I love the village of Bukomero and streams of kiddos who run up and grab my legs for a hug. I love the opportunity I have been given to help improve the life conditions here. I love the house and the community we live in. I love the four or five streetkids in Gitarama we have been able to get to know (whom we will be inviting to live at Umuryango in two weeks). I love walking in to a store and paying 60 cents for lunch. I love watching the many persons visiting us from America do life here.
As I said, I love a lot of aspects of life in Rwanda. As I sit and type this list up, I realize that I may not ever love every aspect of living here. Does anyone ever love every moment of every day of their life? I don't know why I expected it here. I didn't love my life back in the States. It was challenging, and difficult, and hard at times. But I still did it well. And I think I can do my life here in Africa well too. If life was easy and painless and dearly loved all the time, there would not be a need for a relationship with God. I know it is a cliche, but it is the difficult times in my life in which I have recognized the need for God; to cry out to Him, to rely on Him, to realize that He will never leave me.
1 comment:
I think you're learning things that some people never learn or take 60 years to learn. Thanks for sharing.
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